If you want to see real white beaches, Pensacola Beach is where you go. The beach itself is a low laying barrier island along Florida’s Gulf Coast and runs almost 40 miles, starting at Pensacola and heading east. The only way to get there other by boat is by using the Pensacola Beach Bridge. From downtown, this amazing place is only 15 minutes by car. Actually, you can also bike, but most apes prefer to have somewhere to store their beach equipment and a cooler, folding chair and picnic basket. Besides you make a pretty comical sight with an ape on a bicycle. If you pull it off without falling over, send us a picture.

There is lodging on the barrier island, but as you can imagine, land is a commodity here, so when you do find a place for sale, be ready to grab it! The houses make a great investment, as most apes are very leery of giving up their turf here. And you should also be aware that this is the front line when big storms hit. There is a reason this is referred to as a barrier island, so you will need to be prepared with insurance and a willingness to do some work preparing for storms, and more work afterward.

But the rewards for the risk are more than worth it. The beech has more moderate temperatures than inland thanks to the Gulf and stays slightly cooler in the heat of summer and a little warmer during the winter. And when we said white beaches, we weren’t kidding. People say that you can get an even tan without turning over because the sand is so bright. Ape sized sunglasses are a must here.

Those of you with smaller apes will really enjoy the area between May and October. That is the breeding and nesting season for the Gulf’s sea turtles! A little advice to keep the local apes from tossing you into a cage though -- don’t interfere with the nests or the momma turtles. They are a protected species and people here are proud that they’ve helped give them a safe place to be born. If you see a tiny turtle heading towards the water, don’t get too close. They are easily distracted and as small as the hatchlings are, it takes a while to get to the sea without taking detours. Flash photography at night and any other light sources are also a big problem. The toddling turtles take their target from the glint of the sea, so light can make them make a wrong turn! Enjoy them as best you can, but try to keep the junior apes under control and let them know why. The turtles will appreciate it.